Obama vs. The Right = Road Runner vs. Wile E. Coyote

Millions of people are concerned about The Right and it’s monomaniacal focus on eating Obama’s lunch and — in honor of my analogy in this blog — perhaps eating Obama himself. There’s no doubt they have a lot of weapons at their disposal: a captive media establishment, tons of money for think tanks and for rewarding those who spout the right talking points, a well-trained and loyal strata of American society willing to swallow whatever swill is on offer at the moment, and a simplistic worldview that boils down to a single goal: get The Road Runner Obama.

But Obama is not without his own resources. First of all, he’s smart. He’s very smart. He has a quick mind, a strong memory, a penetrating analysis, and — if past successes are any guide — a gift for politics. That might be enough for him to prevail in this epic struggle for the heart and mind (and future) of America. But he’s got something perhaps even more useful and important: He’s calm and rational. He doesn’t come to his goals from a place of fevered, highly emotional, neurotic or psychotic personal need. His values — fairness, the long view, Liberalism, perhaps even a touch of Progressivism — are woven deeply throughout his character. When he faces an obstacle or experiences a setback, he simply reassesses his new situation, takes a deep breath, and continues to work toward what he wants.

That’s why the analogy strikes me as so apt. The fanatical Coyote could stop anytime, but doesn’t. He is compelled to go after the Road Runner. Smug and overconfident, he is quick to trot out an endless array of powerful devices — spring loaded launchers, earthquake pills, rocket sleds, catapults, missiles, dehydrated boulders, jet-powered roller skates, and of course painted images of tunnels and caves on rock walls — that invariably foster exciting expectations of his overwhelming and inevitable victory by force over the naive and frail-looking Road Runner. But we all know how these things always turn out.

Look how the Right has immolated itself so far:

  • Refused to bargain in good faith on the stimulus package, withheld all support for it, and so guaranteed they’ll get no credit for any good it does
  • Stepped up to the openly treasonous and poisonous admission that they’re hoping Obama fails
  • Positioned themselves as publicly disbelieving facts that are easily and demonstrably true:
  1. Obama was born an American and has a valid birth certificate to prove it,
  2. Obama is not a Muslim or a Socialist and is not actively destroying capitalism,
  3. Obama has not raised taxes on 95% of Americans and in fact already enacted the largest tax cut ever for working Americans,
  4. Obama has not inserted the federal government between you and your doctor,

… can you offer other examples? …

If my analogy proves true, over the next few years we’re going to witness a series of humiliating and catastrophic failures for The Right as it flings itself into battle against a cagey and cunningly superior foe, time after time after time.

  • They’ll paint a train tunnel on the face of a rock wall, and later be run over by a fast train streaming out from it.
  • They’ll rig a pitfall or a spring-loaded trap for the Road Runner that will freeze inexplicably for the moment he passes through the danger zone, then function perfectly against themselves when they step in to try and figure out why it didn’t work.

My favorite, though, will be when they unwittingly ingest the very same earthquake pills they had hoped to get Obama to swallow, and later dejectedly walk off into the sunset, jarred to the bone by an unending series of devasting inner explosions their single-minded hard-heartedness has inadvertently brought upon themselves.

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